Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
