I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
