Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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