I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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