she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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