Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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