Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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