Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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