butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
