spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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