No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
