I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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