I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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