You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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