it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
