Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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