glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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