It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
