You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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