Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
