please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
