The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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