You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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