yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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