im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
