Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
