R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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