have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
