There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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