please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
