dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
