I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
