And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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