friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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