So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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