Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
