is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
