Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
