I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
