If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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