just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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