i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
nutella sex= disaster
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
