Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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