Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
