i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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