I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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