oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
