I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
