3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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