Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
